It appears Save Points exist in this Game of Life we’re playing on the earth <&> in the heart.
SAVE POINTS simultaneously exist on the world stage you receive through black mirrors and the grander stage you experience within your physical surroundings.
PLAYER: Can these Save Points be revisited to get them right a la the flick, Groundhog Day?
Maybe these SAVE POINTS aren’t always met by traveling back in time as traditionally thought and you simply swing between decades with identical challenges and interactions from past days?
PLAYER: How will you choose to progress and upgrade in your timeline constantly splitting?
A cool friend replied to last week’s Mental Particles Vol. 6, and among other things, he brought up the color shift happening on the grid.
Granted, he’s color blind, but he offered the observation that “colors seem brighter. Like something that was blue now looks BLUE. Pretty cool.”
PLAYER: Have you noticed, too?
RGB to CMYK.
I was standing in the shower on Wednesday and an epiphany struck which compelled me to write down this question on a waterproof page,
“Why do I need so much attention? Sometimes I need a break from mySelf. The others?”
EPIPHANY: Dang, I’m a Drama King.
My new electric standing desk arrived this week. I used to dual wield an Ikea desk with an inexpensive standing desk.
REMEMBER: The creative station does not make the artist, it’s the creator who makes the art.
I ate barely anything one day this week.
One day was some juice, lil bit of cheese, and like 7 crackers. Next day was nothing until Animal Fries and a Large Shake for dinner. Ha, I don’t think I’d ever ordered a large shake from In-N-Out.
COOL: Bc that’s new.
On Sunday, I noticed the geo(graphical) relo(cation) was hitting me wicked when my engagement level with the Ones I love drifted toward apathetic. I know, it’s pathetic bc I am blessed beyond measure to be among these most beloved.
It’s just that my innergy’s been consumed by my stabilization efforts due to the constant activities since arriving in Calif.
SIMPLE: Silly. Busy. Business.
I seldom consume anything other than music in my current timeline so movies are rather rare, but I caught Superintelligence and The Mitchells Vs. The Machines this past week (both of which revolved around A.I. looking to overtake or destroy the human race?).
I don’t really watch shows either except the past several weeks I solo-watched The Falcon and Winter Solider, and family-viewed the Mighty Ducks: Gamechangers.
PLAYER: How much programming do you receive?
5/5/2021: I was creating on the couch when I quickly closed my laptop because wifey approached… to give me a kiss.
She planted it and said, “It’s okay, I’m not going to try and look at your screen.”
I replied, “It’s okay. I’m just writing a post. I’m actually writing one of my last sentences,” I said. Then I gave read her the words I was transferring from my waterproof page, “Why do I need so much attention? Sometimes I need a break from mySelf. The others?” I said.
I suppose my documented timestamps serve as Save Points. Why do I need so many? Why do I show mine?
PLAYER: How many do you need? Are you showing yours?
During more unpacking on 5/1/2021, I found a goldmine of forgotten journals. I came across an entry from 20 years ago dated 5/7/2001 and I thought I’d share it word-for-word so you can see how much I still sound like the same ole’ young dude searching to observe Self and actualize Me, Myself & I.
TIMESTAMP from 20 Years Ago:
They say actions speak louder than words.
What do they know anyways?
It seems they are insane and absurd while I am the one in a crazy daze.
But that is normal for me.
What you ask?
Well, “Normal” to me is feeling an inner beauty that is hard to share with others because I want them to think I am evil in the sense that they do not understand me. I do love you people. I just need help expressing it. So I did not say, “Thank you,” after you said, “Bless you,” following my sneeze.
Well, get over it.
Don’t overanalyze while I try to rationalize my logic. Neither of us will win.
It’s tragic how out of control I feel at times. I know now that I cannot choose how I feel. But I can choose what I do about my feelings. I can make an effort to not hurt. I can try to love unconditionally and not brutally.
I now know that you only have so many chances to ask for that one dance before the night ends with unforgettable regret.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Don’t be afraid to ask another if you can help them. I don’t need to know everything. And you probably know too much already?
So I can’t look you in the eyes and say it.
Sorry. I am apologizing to myself. I can barely look into my own eyes and say it. Actually, can I at all?
I fall under a calm when Love is felt. That is why I am here. That is my key to the eternal peace that I seek within myself and my surroundings. It is mine for the taking but for granted is all I am currently taking.
The only reason more info could help is for me to know, and for me to be given a chance to still say, “I Love You.”
But I completely understand. There is too much heartache and risk involved. It is easy for me to gamble money away but tears are a whole other craps game.
J.C., ya blessed me.
J. Dubb, ya helped me.
Dave, what have you done lately?
– My 1st thoughts are for you to never speak of anything or write you. Not even a “Thanks.”
But at the same time, I want to know out of curiosity if the message is delivered. Know I give you these thoughts on paper because I must share them and I love and trust you enough to keep them safe.